School Days
by Dominus Princeps
Summary: Before all the nasty Cruxis angel Kharlan mess, there were four students...a nerdy little brother, a beautiful young woman, a Twinkie obsessed swordsman, and a lovesick puppy. YuanxMartel, !KratosxTwinkies!
1. YuYu Meets Marty

School Days

By Dominus Princeps

**Chapter One: Yu-Yu Meets Marty**

"I'm gonna talk to..._her_ today."

"Yeah, right. You never manage more than a stuttered 'Hello'."

"S'what you think! I'm gonna talk to _her_ today!"

"Fine. Your gateway to eternal damnation wreathed in unending hellfire."

"You make life so pleasant, Kratos."

"My job, Yuan."

The boy sitting across the table from Kratos sighed. Kratos wore a dark purple tee-shirt with a pair of crossed swords—one red and one blue. He had on pants of the same color purple as his shirt. Kratos' hair defied gravity in ways no one had ever dreamed of. To boot, the high-schooler also adored Twinkies, and ate every single one he could find. Yuan gagged as Kratos shoved another one of the excruciatingly sugary morsels into his mouth. Yuan, on the other hand, wore more colorful clothing, and had on a different set of clothes every day. Kratos, it seemed, wore the same shirt and the same pants every single day.

"Well? You gonna go talk to her?" Kratos asked skeptically, crumbs of the Twinkie in his mouth spilling out onto his lunch tray. Yuan finished the milk carton held in his hand and set in on his tray before picking the tray that held his trash and going to throw it away. As he walked off, a gorgeous young woman with pale blond hair came over to sit beside Kratos.

"Um...Twinkie Kid?" she asked shyly. Kratos looked over at her whilst stuffing his namesake into his mouth. The girl cringed, but masked it well.

"Your friend...um, Yuan, right?" she prompted. Kratos nodded mutely, chewing.

"Is he nice?" the girl asked. Kratos swallowed.

"He's alright. He so loves you", the rusty-haired boy replied.

"Um. Really? O-okay..." the blond stammered. At this time, Yuan turned from the trash and saw his friend Kratos talking casually with..._her_. Yuan froze as a number of different possibilities ran through his mind in half a second. _One. Kratos and _she_ have been dating this entire time, which is why Kratos is so skeptical. Two. Kratos is trying to ask her out, and thus is skeptical. Three. He is buying me time so that I can get all spiffed up. I have...reasonable trust in my buddy, so I'll go with three._ Yuan turned and ran into the bathroom.

"Hey, was that him?" Kratos' inquirer asked.

"Who?" Kratos responded through a mouthful of Twinkie. The girl bit her lip to keep from saying something about his eating habits.

"No one. Never mind", she sighed.

ooo

"'Kay, Yuan. Get yourself together. Martel is just talking with Kratos. So...gotta act cool. Okay. Let's see...'Hey, Martel, you like movies?' ...No, too direct. 'Hi, there, Martel. Say, you doin' anything after school?' ...No, too roundabout. 'Hey, Martel, how are you? Hey, just wonderin'...got any plans this afternoon?' ...Perfect!" Yuan muttered.

"Dude, shut up! I'm trying to take a crap here!" a voice came from a stall.

"Sorry!" Yuan hissed. He splashed his face with water and checked his blue hair to see if it looked presentable. It did, and Yuan planned out how he would respond to Martel's various questions. Dating was harder than it seemed, he decided.

ooo

"Say, Twinkie Kid...what's your real name?" the girl asked Kratos finally.

"...Kratos Aurion. You're Martel Yggdrasill , if I'm not mistaken", Kratos replied.

"Yes. Um...you have any advice on what I should say to Yuan?" Martel inquired.

"Well, he's kind of shy, but not so much so. Be firm, but not direct. But then again, not too indirect. Say something like, 'Hi, there, Yuan, how are you? Hey, just wonderin'...got any plans this afternoon?' Something like that", Kratos advised sagely. Martel nodded. She smiled at the boy, but her smile was not noticed. Kratos was busy unwrapping another Twinkie. Martel rolled her eyes at the rusty-haired student. His nickname was well-earned. She turned and saw _him_ come in. His blue hair looked...wet and floppy. He was walking like a Meltokio gangster...but it was funny. Maybe that was what he was getting at...so Martel began to laugh. Yuan turned bright red and scratched his head.

"Um...H-hi, M-Martel...doyoulikemoviesI'mfreethisafternooncanIpickyouupsixo'clock?" it came out in one long, horrible word. Martel laughed harder.

"You're-hahaha-funny, Yuan. Really funny! Ha ha ha ha ha!" she giggled, wiping tears from her eyes. Kratos gave Yuan a sarcastic thumbs-up whilst savoring what had to be the thirteenth Twinkie he'd eaten in the past ten...make that seven minutes. Yuan glared at his friend and sat down across from Martel. She gave him a dazzling smile.

"Six o'clock, you said?" she beamed. Yuan nodded, mouth hanging open from the power of that smile. She giggled at him again.

"Okay. See you then! Oop, lunch is over! Bye bye, Yuan!" the beautiful girl smiled. Kratos licked his fingers.

"Dude, you so totally blew it. Guess she likes dating people who are limber...because you somehow got both feet and your ass inside your mouth", Kratos grinned. Yuan glared at him.

"Sh-shut up! Don't see _you_ with any dates!" Yuan snapped. Kratos laughed, a rare occurrence.

"Why date girls when you can spend that time eating Twinkies?" the spiky-haired boy asked as he grabbed his pack and practice sword from behind his chair.

"Humph. See you seventh period, Kratos", Yuan grumbled.

"Until then, Yuan", Kratos replied. He strode out the door. Kratos stopped by his locker and was abruptly slammed against it by a muscular man with extremely eccentric red hair.

"Nebilim, cut it out. It's not funny", Kratos glowered, giving his aggressor his best frightening glower. Nebilim chuckled.

"You just wait till after school, Twinkie Kid! I'll beat you up bad! Heh heh heh!" the bully grinned toothily. Kratos shook his head and put several textbooks into his pack (A Magic Swordsman's Guide to Magic and Swords, How To Be Mysterious and Unreadable, The Complete Book on Your Secret Hidden Personality, and Twinkies: The Perfection Behind the Pastry). Kratos grabbed a box of Twinkies from his locker and left for his next class: Magic. Kratos liked that class. It was fun. Especially "accidentally" aiming Grave at his partner Nebilim. That was a very fun day of class. Kratos always paid attention to the professor. Especially now that they were going into the more advanced magic techniques.

ooo

Yuan, however, was completely ignoring whatever the teacher was saying about the healing arts. He was busy staring dreamily at Martel, who sat a row ahead of him and one row to the right. Her blond head was dutifully down, and taking notes. Yuan sighed. He loved a hard-working woman.

"Yuan! Tell me the incantation for Revitalize!" a harsh voice snapped. Yuan, startled, whipped up and babbled the first thing that came to mind.

"I call upon thee in the land of the dead, to unleash thy fury of thunder?" he said, remembering something Kratos had told him about a really cool spell he had read about.

"Yuan, Yuan...you'll never pass this class if you _don't pay attention!_" Yuan only listened to the last part of the sentence: "don't pay attention". He only heard that part because he was too absorbed in Martel's stifled laughter. She really liked him! He blushed.

"Now, I know you are embarrassed because I called you out, but remember, studying and paying attention is key to passing this class. Good things will happen if you do these things, and you might go to war and realize you love healing sick people!" the teacher droned. Yuan only heard, "Good things...happen...to...love...sick people!" Yuan nodded dreamily and sat down. Satisfied, the teacher went back to demonstrating the practical uses of the spell Healing Stream. Yuan returned to his gazing at Martel. _She is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo gorgeous...I'm in love!_

ooo

Kratos trudged onto sixth period. Sixth period was cooking...and today was tomato day. Kratos hated tomatoes. It was a strange thing...but as much as he loved Twinkies, likewise did he hate tomatoes. Kratos pondered what disgusting dish of tomatoes would be cooked today. Perhaps spaghetti...or tenderloin...Kratos shivered. Tomatoes were yucky and red. They were also wet and prone to bursting. Kratos shivered again and shoved a Twinkie into his mouth. The Twinkies were good to him. They never lied...they always made Kratos feel better about life. Twinkies never cheated on someone...they were always faithful. Kratos wondered what Yuan saw in Martel, but decided not to worry. Besides, Yuan's problem if he got his heart broken. Kratos stepped into sixth period and sighed. Tenderloin _and_ spaghetti. Life sucked. Kratos ate another Twinkie to keep his mind off that fact and sat down in his chair in the back row. Tomatoes sucked. At least the bliss that came with the Twinkie kept that thought at bay.

ooo

Yuan stepped out of sixth period (History, yech!) and walked down the hall to his next class. He found Kratos waiting at the door, munching obliviously on a Twinkie.

"You know all those Twinkies are really bad for your health", Yuan remarked.

"Well, I'm going to grow up and be an angel, so then I won't have to worry about that", Kratos retorted through a mouthful of sugary ecstasy. Yuan rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, right. Like _you_ could ever become an angel! Besides the fact that only half-elves so far have been angels!" the blue-haired boy argued.

"And I'm gonna be the first human to be an angel, so there. Now leave me and my Twinkie in peace", Kratos pouted, shoving the rest of the treat down his throat. Yuan almost gagged.

"So, you did your Spellcasting homework, right?" Yuan asked. Kratos grinned and held up what had once been a teddy bear. It was now charred and tattered.

"Eruption works like a charm...'cept it's a spell", the rusty-haired boy smirked. Yuan held up his to match. Both stuffed animals were equally incinerated...just in varying spots. The pair walked eagerly into Spellcasting. It was a fun class.

ooo

Kratos and Yuan staggered out of Spellcasting, hair standing on end (well, Yuan's was noticeably raised; Kratos' was just a tad more strange than it usually was).

"Thunder Blade...is soooooo cool..." Kratos spoke for both of them. He grinned for a split second before stuffing a Twinkie into his mouth. Yuan nodded.

"I know...it goes like, 'BOOM! And then BZZ-ZZ-ZZ!" he agreed. They grabbed the books they needed to take home, then strolled out the front doors...and were faced with a spiky haired man wielding two blades and greaves, not to mention an ax across his back and a mean-looking long sword. He was also sporting a hairdo to rival Kratos' own.

"_Nebilim_", Kratos and Yuan both said the name with equal spite and distaste, as if it were one of Kratos' attempts at spaghetti (which, this afternoon, was actually not so bad).

"Heh heh heh! I toldja I was gonna beat ya up bad, Twinkie Kid! Maybe your buddy can share the fun! Heh heh heh!" Nebilim chuckled, twirling his two swords.

"Leave us alone, Nebilim. It's not funny, seriously", Yuan grumbled. He and Kratos moved to pass him, but Nebilim blocked their way with his swords.

"Nope, can't run from me!" he smirked.

"Hey, leave 'em alone!" Yuan's knees wobbled as he heard the defiant, nigh-angelic voice. _She_ was coming to their rescue! Yuan gave her a stupid grin as she stood beside them.

"Oh, so Marty wants some fun too, eh? Well, I guess you all want some!" Nebilim sneered.

"Hey, leave my sister alone!" another voice came. Yuan and Kratos turned to see a lone, blond boy come running up, a kendama clutched in his grip. Martel had taken out her staff.

"Well...let's do it!" Nebilim said. Kratos drew his sword, and Yuan took out his double-bladed sword.

"I will show you...my true power!" Nebilim howled as they charged him. Yuan and Kratos ran up close, whilst Martel and her unnamed brother sat back and cast magic. Kratos was caught off guard by Nebilim's uncanny ability to switch weaponry seamlessly, and while performing a counter to Nebilim's twin blade attack, was nailed in the stomach by three powerful kicks. The red-haired combatant was surprised, however, by a prompt, if somewhat poorly cast, Thunder Blade. The huge sword of electricity crashed to the ground (BOOM!), and unleashed three pulses of electricity (BZZ-ZZ-ZZ!). Kratos felt an aura surround and refresh him, and thanked Martel quickly for the needed First Aid. Nebilim, caught up in gaining vengeance on Yuan for the Thunder Blade, was completely blindsided by Martel's brother's powerful, if unexpected, Absolute. Kratos watched in wonder as a perfectly shaped ice razor stabbed through Nebilim, then burst into a thousand shining shards, causing further pain and anger. Kratos shook the feeling off and charged forward.

"Demon Fang! Fierce Demon Fang! Super Lightning Blade!" he cried out as the Techs flowed seamlessly after his three slash combo. Nebilim staggered as a shockwave hit him, followed by a bigger, more forceful shockwave, followed by a stab and a lightning bolt. Nebilim rounded on Kratos and hit him first with a Tiger Rage and Raging Beast, then switched instantly to his ax and dealt a shockingly powerful Rising Punishment and Eternal Damnation. Kratos was sent spiraling to the ground, stars dancing in front of his eyes. He tasted blood (and gravel from Eternal Damnation). Again, Martel soothed his wounds, along with Yuan's, with a well-thought Nurse. Nebilim saw the strategy and dashed at Martel.

"No!" Yuan cried.

"You won't get my sister! I'll show you your powerlessness!" Martel's brother yelled to compliment Yuan. Kratos gasped in horror as he recognized the power booming from the chant that Martel's little brother had just uttered. Could it really be...?

"_Indignation...Judgment!_" came the cry. Nebilim froze in terror as lightning bolts rained from the sky, sending electricity coursing throughout him. Then a winged, magical sword crashed into the pulsing rings of light surrounding Nebilim. The sword exploded in energy, launching Nebilim into the air and sending him flying into the brick wall that enclosed the school. The unfortunate red-haired warrior careened _through_ the wall and tumbled down the hill behind it.

"Well, that's that!" Martel's little brother grinned, flashing the "peace" sign. The other three gazed at him in wonder.

"What? It wasn't that hard...it was like...the spell just came out of my mouth!" the short, blond kid said, blushing.

"Good thing we had you with us, Mithos. Otherwise...that would've hurt", Martel smiled gratefully.

"Shucks, sis, it was nothing!" Mithos grinned. He faced Yuan.

"So...you and my sister are going to the movies, huh? You better treat her nice!" the kid growled. Yuan nodded, terrified.

"Course I will! Just don't cast on me, please!" the blue-haired boy pleaded.

"Well...I'll see. Yuan, I think we'll be great friends!" Mithos smiled. He looked at Kratos...who was munching happily on a Twinkie.

"You're...Twinkie Kid, aren't you? My sister says you're kinda-" Mithos started. He was cut off as Martel's hand clamped over his lips. Kratos granted Mithos a blank look.

"You like Twinkies?" Kratos asked, offering a soft, golden fat-pill. Mithos took it with a look on his face that, had anyone else seen it, said, "Get this guy away from me."

"Don't worry about him. He's a good guy, despite...well, the Twinkies", Yuan whispered.

"Did someone just say 'Twinkie'?" Kratos asked in a fanatical tone of voice.

"Martel...let's just go", Yuan sighed. He and the blond girl walked off, talking. Mithos took an experimental bite of the Twinkie. It was actually quite delicious.

"So...where do you get these Twinkies?" Mithos asked. Kratos gave him a wide-eyed glare.

"I'll _never_ tell you where the Twinkies come from! _NEVER!_ You'll steal them all, and not give any to me! They're mine! _Mine! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!_" Kratos cackled.

"You can get 'em at the shop down the street. 10 gald a box", someone said. Kratos shoved another Twinkie in his mouth nervously. Mithos sighed. His new friends were...wierd.


	2. From the Theatre to Her House

School Days

By Dominus Princeps

Forgotten Disclaimer: Oops...fergot it the first chap, so...

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I own shit

Please don't sue!

'Cuz all you'll get is like a few Lego bricks and a nickel.

**Chapter Two: From the Theatre to Her House**

_What should I do? What should I say?_ Yuan wondered frantically as he and Martel walked side-by-side to the nearby movie theatre. He looked at Martel and gasped.

"Hey, Martel! You're hurt!" the blue-haired boy said, noting a cut on the girl's cheek.

"Oh, really?" Martel replied, surprised. Yuan cast a quick First Aid. He had picked _something_ up from Healing Arts, but barely. He was half-expecting to cast Thunder Blade...but the green, soothing aura surrounded Martel and healed her. The girl beamed at him.

"Thanks, Yuan!" she smiled, winking at him. Yuan's knees gave. He collapsed.

"Yuan? Yuan?" Martel asked frantically. _What did I do? What did I say?_ Martel wondered frantically.

"He does that often. Just give him a minute or two", a muffled voice came. Martel looked up to see Twinkie—err, Kratos. He had a golden fat-pill stuffed into his mouth. That was what was muffling his voice. Martel smiled weakly at him.

"Okay. Have you been following us?" she asked.

"No. Just walking down to the store to buy forty more packs of Twinkies. Resupply for tomorrow", the rusty-haired boy motioned towards the Costco on the corner. Martel nodded.

"Well, have fun", she said, putting on her best faked smile.

"That's just what you want me to think", Kratos said suspiciously, glaring at Martel before sprinting towards the Costco. Yuan chose this moment to pick himself off of the ground.

"Is the movie over?" he asked. Martel laughed.

"No, silly, we haven't even bought tickets!" she smiled, playfully hitting Yuan's shoulder. Yuan blushed.

"Oh, sorry", he mumbled. They walked up and purchased tickets for "Must Love Protozoans".

ooo

Nebilim wearily stood up from where he had crashed. He shook his head and checked his watch to see what time it was. 5:23! Damn, he was going to be late for that Demon Summoning after-school club. Nebilim grabbed his dropped twin blades and dashed up the hill...to see the wall which he had crashed through _unbroken!_

"What the Niflheim?" he muttered. Nebilim shrugged and leapt over the six-foot-tall barrier, landing in the schoolyard. A sign caught his eye and made him freeze.

"Have _you_ gotten _your_ Rheiaird pilot's license yet?" it read. Nebilim blinked. That sign had been completely destroyed six or seven days ago when Nebilim had cast Flame Lance in anger after Kratos kicked him in the shins and ran off. _Wait, six or seven days...?_ Nebilim thought.

"_That little blond bastard knocked me into last week!_" the red-haired bully roared angrily, casting Flame Lance on the sign. Then, Nebilim took the time to ponder why it had hurt when Kratos had kicked him in the shins. Nebilim wore metal greaves.

ooo

Kratos sat down at his desk with his Spellcasting homework—a big-ass light bulb. And this thing wasn't just big—it was big-ass. Like the size of a Red Bat. Kratos shivered. Red Bats were creepy. The rusty-haired boy set the light bulb in his casting area and took a few steps back. He raised his sword and shield, and focused on what the teacher had said. _Channel the element. Be the spell. Know what you want to kill, and kill it._ Kratos willed the electricity to form over the light bulb. He imagined himself as that kick-ass electric blade. He knew what he wanted to kill...Nebilim. _No, damn, wait, the light bulb!_ Kratos thought frantically. But it was too late.

ooo

After successfully summoning a minor time demon, Nebilim stepped out of the portal onto school grounds. He stretched, accidentally poking himself with one of his twin blades. Not like it mattered. He had 120,000 HP on _Normal_, Goddess damn it. Nebilim smiled as he remembered the trophy he received at the eighth grade graduation ceremony—the Shinryu Memorial Prize for _Holy Crap That's a Lot of HP!_ That trophy was resting on his shelf, next to the demonic artifacts and Satan's Book on Being Mean. Nebilim's yawn was cut short as a Thunder Blade materialized out of nowhere and crashed into him for the second time that day (_BOOM_), then unleashed three pulses of electricity (_BZZ-ZZ-ZZ_).

"Damn, damn damn damn DAMN!" Nebilim growled, "Now I only have 118,246 HP!"

"Whoever cast that is going to pay..."

ooo

Kratos, after having thoroughly electrocuted the poor, defenseless big-ass light bulb, settled down with the cooking homework. Curry. Kratos kind of liked curry. It was a useful little dish—didn't use rare ingredients, and restored a fair amount of HP and TP. Kratos picked up the supplies the teacher had given him and began making it.

ooo

Yuan and Martel walked out of the theatre after the credits had finished (Yuan was obsessive about who played who and who wrote what).

"That movie was okay", Yuan remarked. Martel nodded.

"Yeah, I agree", she commented.

"Um...you live around here, Martel?" Yuan asked. She shook her head.

"No...and I must've left my Wing Pack in my locker. Shoot!" the blond girl grumbled, frustrated.

"Well, I brought my Wing Pack, so...you can ride with me", Yuan smiled slightly. He had Kratos steal Martel's Wing Pack so that this would happen.

"You're such a nice guy, Yuan!" Martel beamed. _Strong, Yuan...strong!_ Yuan thought desperately, knees wobbling.

"Th-thanks, M-Martel", he said weakly. Yuan and Martel walked out to the front of the theatre, where Yuan took out his Wing Pack. The Rheaird popped out and hovered in midair. Yuan hopped on, and Martel got on behind him. _Strong, Yuan...strong!_ Yuan repeated over and over in his head as Martel's arms looped around his waist. The Rheaird lifted smoothly into the air.

"Where do you live, Martel?" Yuan asked, barely keeping the stutter from his voice.

"Mm...667 Power Road", Martel replied. Yuan turned to face her.

"Wait—doesn't Nebilim live around there?" he asked.

"Yeah, my next-door neighbor. He lives at 666", she grumbled. Yuan snorted.

"That must suck", he grinned darkly.

"Well, you can't really blame him for the bad behavior. He has a troubled home life", Martel sighed.

"What, his father beats him up?" Yuan asked skeptically.

"No. He beats up his father...but still, that's dysfunctional", Martel replied. Yuan landed the Rheaird safely in Martel's front yard, however reluctantly. The ride seemed to go by so fast with her arms around his waist...

"Thanks for the ride, Yuan!" Martel smiled. Yuan promptly fell off of the Rheaird due to emotion overload.

ooo

Kratos' vision began to swim in front of him. _Oh, no! It's been five minutes and I haven't had a Twinkie!_ he thought. He reached inside the box of Twinkies...but it was empty. Frantically, Kratos searched his pack...but there were only empty boxes. Kratos fell out of his chair.

"Twinkie...need...Twinkie..." he gasped, clawing at the ground. His consciousness faded as all bodily processes shut down because of Twinkie-starvation.

ooo

"Oh, my Goddess!" Kratos screamed.

"It was just a dream...just a dream..." he whimpered, grabbing two Twinkies and cramming them into his mouth at the same time. Kratos looked back to his curry. He stirred it a few more times and added a little more Red Satay...and the mix promptly exploded.

"Damn. I hate it when I fail at recipes. At least 5 percent of my HP and 7 percent of my TP were restored", he muttered, swallowing the twin Twinkies. Kratos tried again. Cooking was so annoying. The rusty-haired Twinkie fanatic hoped he would never have to journey to save the world and have to cook.

"Bet angels don't have to cook their own meals", Kratos mused, eating a Twinkie.

ooo

"Yuan...Yuan!" a beautifully musical voice penetrated the veil of darkness over his eyes.

"Am I dead? Are you an angel?" Yuan muttered dreamily, opening his eyes.

"No, silly, it's just me", Martel said softly. Yuan blushed and sat up quickly. He was on Martel's couch, covered with a blanket.

"You passed out, so I brought you inside. Would you like something to drink?" she asked.

"Um...that's fine", Yuan said.

"Hey, wanna be study buddies?" Martel suggested with a wink. Yuan nodded, stunned.

"Great! Let's get started on the Healing Arts homework!" Martel cheered. When she had left the room to get her satchel, Yuan slapped his forehead. _I hate Healing Arts!_ he thought. Yuan grabbed his backpack and double-bladed sword from the front door and stuck his Wing Pack in his pocket.

"I'm in the kitchen!" Martel called. Yuan followed her voice and was stopped by a wall of rock that had suddenly appeared in the hallway.

"You put one hand on my sister and I swear I will-" Mithos began.

"Please don't hurt me! I'll do whatever you want!" Yuan begged, dropping to his knees. Mithos backed up.

"Um...okay. We're having pizza for dinner", Mithos said, a little off guard. The wall of rock disappeared without a trace. Yuan carried his weapon and his pack into the kitchen, where Martel already had her stuff all set up.

"You go first, Yuan. I'll cut myself with a butcher knife and you cast Healing Stream, okay?" Martel said cheerily, picking up the knife.

"Wait, wait—isn't this a little...dangerous?" Yuan gulped, eyeing the knife with distaste. Martel gave him an innocent look.

"But you know the spell...right?" the girl asked, blinking.

"Well..." Yuan began. But it was too late. Martel cut her wrists right before Yuan's eyes.

"_HOLY SHIT MOTHER CRAP DAMN ASS HELL BITCH!_ Is this really happening?" Yuan blurted.

"Hey, put...um...500 gald in the swear jar!" Mithos called from upstairs. Yuan grabbed Martel.

"Cast...the spell...Yuan..." Martel said weakly. Yuan swore under his breath and pulled out his Wing Pack. The Rheaird materialized. Yuan leapt aboard, holding Martel with one arm and the controls with the other. He crashed the flying machine through the front door and made a beeline for Kratos' house. Kratos was actually pretty good at healing. Yuan was not. And Martel was bleeding all over the damn Rheaird.

"Yuan...this...not...fun...ny", Martel began to cry quietly.

"Listen, I can't heal to save my own life! So I'm takin' you to Kratos' house!" Yuan growled. Martel blinked slowly.

"Yu...Yuan..." she murmured. Her eyes rolled back into her head. Yuan's Rheaird touched town on Kratos' lawn, and he rushed inside.

"Kratos! Kratos!" Yuan shouted. An explosion was heard upstairs.

"Goddess damn it, Yuan, you better have a good reason for ruining my curry!" Kratos' voice came from upstairs.

"It's Martel! She cut her wrists!" Yuan called, running up the steps three at a time.

"Didn't know you were into crazy chicks, Yu-Yu", Kratos smirked.

"Damn it, heal the girl!" Yuan snarled. Kratos focused his power onto Martel. He willed the healing power of mana to flow from his fingers and into her.

"Take this! Healing Stream!" Kratos yelled. A blue-green aura rose from the ground and encircled Martel, sealing the wounds in her wrists.

"'Take this'? What, is it an attack?" Yuan said skeptically. Kratos glared at him.

"Mm...Kratos...Yuan...ooh, I feel dizzy..." Martel murmured, sitting up slowly. Kratos cast First Aid to supplement his Healing Stream.

"Damn it, Martel, don't do that again!" Yuan growled, cupping her cheek with his hand. Kratos shook the soot from his attempts at curry out of his hair.

"Your first date and you're already at the 'affectionate touching' stage?" Kratos snickered. Yuan and Martel glared at him, then turned their attention back to each other.

"But Yuan...you always seem so focused in Healing Arts..." Martel said, a little confused.

"Yeah. From what I hear, focused on _you_", Kratos butted in again.

"Shut up!" Yuan growled. Kratos shrugged and ate a Twinkie. Yuan sighed.

"Martel...you scared me a lot. Please, if you died, I don't know what I'd do!" the blue-haired boy whimpered.

"Buy a Life Bottle?" Kratos muttered, smacking his forehead before stuffing another Twinkie into his mouth.

"Well...wanna go back to my house so we can study?" Martel asked hopefully.

"Sure...but my Rheaird's covered in blood...can we borrow yours, Kratos?" Yuan commented.

"Naw, use this one", Kratos replied through a mouthful of fat-filled nirvana. He handed Yuan a pink Wing Pack with the initials MY engraved in lime green on it.

"Hey...that's my Wing Pack..." Martel gasped. They brought it outside, and sure enough, it had Martel's Rheaird in it, too.

"Wow...how did Kratos do that?" Martel wondered. Yuan shook his head.

"Kratos has his ways..." was his only explanation. Kratos waved goodbye to them.

"Lovesick freaks. Now, my darlings, come to daddy!" Kratos muttered, turning to the unopened box of Twinkies lying on his desk.

"Let me help you slip into something...a little more comfortable", the rusty-haired boy smiled, unwrapping a Twinkie slowly.

ooo

"See you tomorrow, Yuan! Thanks for studying with me!" Martel beamed. Yuan waved back as he mounted his (recently washed) Rheaird. It was close to nine o'clock, but Yuan didn't care. His parents had died in a tragic accident when he was young, which would eventually build his clinginess and need for structure in his later life, but for now, he was a teen with no parents at home. Kratos and the Yggdrasills were the same way—no mom and/or dad. Yuan sighed. _Today...was so awesome. Except Martel's attempted suicide. But, let's not talk about that!_ he thought wistfully, remembering the soft skin on her cheek...the tender way she wrapped her arms around his waist...the bruise on his chest from when they sparred in the back yard...yes, life was good for Yuan. He landed his Rheaird, stuck it in the Wing Pack, and walked into his house. He climbed the stairs and stepped into his room.

"Yuan...it's time to die", Nebilim grinned, holding a genuine Luin-made Baseball Bat.


	3. Insomniac Night Fever

School Days

By Dominus Princeps

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ or Golden Sun. Or "Boulevard of Broken Dreams".

**Chapter Three: Insomniac Night Fever  
**

"Can't we work this out?" Yuan screamed, barely dodging the wooden club. Nebilim's swing tore a hole in the wall.

"Die, you blue-haired bastard, die!" Nebilim cackled, already in the second stage of berserking that Yuan had heard of. There were three stages. The beginning, in which the berserker becomes enraged, the middle, in which the berserker goes...well, berserk, and the end, where the berserker collapses from exhaustion. Yuan never actually read about how long the middle lasted, which was currently causing him some dismay as Nebilim tore large holes in Yuan's house and broke various expensive background items and eye candy. The bat took out Yuan's legs in an unexpected sweep slash. With a malicious gleam in his eye, Nebilim brought the bat up behind his head. Thinking quickly, Yuan swung his foot into Nebilim's crotch...which, terrifyingly, did nothing. Nebilim swung the Baseball Bat down at Yuan, who rolled out of the way just in time. The house shook as the bat impacted into the floorboards of Yuan's room...and then the entire floor of the room collapsed, sending Yuan and Nebilim tumbling down to the first floor. Nebilim hit the ground and sprang to his feet. Yuan faceplanted.

"Waaah!" Yuan shrieked as the wooden death machine passed inches in front of his nose. He rolled backwards to his feet and jumped through a window, deciding that it would be best to take the fight to the outside. Yuan pulled out his double-bladed sword and waited. He heard no sounds. Yuan continued to wait. He checked his watch. Nebilim still wasn't coming. Yuan checked his watch again...then was sent sprawling as the Baseball Bat collided with his back.

"Oof! Ouch, ow, bad, crap!" Yuan hissed as he bounced and tumbled down the road.

"Hey, you crazy kids, keep it down!" Maxwell, Yuan's next-door-neighbor, shouted.

"Sorry, Mr. Maxw-aaaaah!" Yuan started, hurtling through the air yet again as the bat nailed him in the side. Nebilim advanced on the blue-haired boy, chuckling. Yuan rolled onto his back, groaning.

"Ugh...M-Martel..." he muttered, panting. Nebilim raised the bat again and brought it down...but it never connected. In fact, it disconnected. A sword sliced it in half.

"Hey...don't mess with the lovesick fool," Kratos glowered, streetlamp gleaming off his sword. The wind rustled his hair in a very dramatic fashion.

"Grrrrraaaaah! You must die, too! Ha ha ha ha ha!" Nebilim cackled, swinging the broken stump of the Baseball Bat at Kratos. He smashed the Twinkie in Kratos' hand. Suddenly, the wind picked up.

"You...you..._How __**dare**__ you?_" Kratos roared. A vortex of air surrounded the purple-clothed boy. Energy collected into him. Suddenly, blond hair at least fifty feet long streamed from Kratos' head.

"He's...he's gone Super-Saiyan _7_!" Origin gasped from across the street. Kratos lifted into the air.

"_You shall die, unworthy mortal! I summon the power of the demonic Guardian. I summon...Come, Dullahan!_" Kratos boomed, his voice shaking the street. A rift opened in the ground. A horrible wrenching sound caused everyone on the block to clamp their hands over their ears. Then, a gigantic suit of headless armor pulled itself from the void.

"_Formina Sage!_" Kratos and Dullahan roared in unison. Dullahan's huge sword pulsed with lightning, then slashed into Nebilim, who, despite his berserker rage, screamed in pain. Nebilim collapsed to the ground...soon followed by Kratos, who, drained of energy, slumped over. Yuan picked himself up slowly.

"Ugh...my freakin' side...ow..." he muttered. He then observed Kratos.

"Whoa...Kratos, you okay?" Yuan asked, worried. Kratos shakily tried to unwrap a Twinkie. Yuan did it for him and fed the pastry to Kratos, too. Kratos instantly leapt to his feet, energized.

"Thanks for the save, man," Yuan sighed, "I owe you one."

"I was in the neighborhood on one of my angst-filled night roams and heard screams, thuds, and shit getting broken, so I decided, eh, what the hell, might as well leave my angst behind and bust some heads," Kratos shrugged. Yuan scratched his head.

"So...that's why I always feel like someone's watching me when I'm lying awake at night? Because you're wandering around out here?" he asked. Kratos laughed.

"Hell no. I don't watch _you_. That's creepy. I mean, not like an angst-filled wandering _isn't_ creepy, but, you know, there's plenty of angst in the world; it's not that weird to be angsty and wandering; it's weird to be angsty and stalking someone. Angst is okay. Angst is-" Kratos explained.

"_Shut up about angst!_ I swear, if you say angst one more time, I'll cut your head off! ...anyway, I just wanted to know if you watched me," Yuan interrupted. Kratos blinked and unwrapped another Twinkie. A moan caused them to whirl. Nebilim was stirring.

"Aw, crap..." Yuan muttered, "You didn't kill him."

"You're right. I'm such a failure..." Kratos sank to the ground, hair covering his eyes and making his expression unreadable.

"Damn it, this is no time for angst!" Yuan growled.

"It's always a good time for angst!" Kratos retorted.

"You're...both going...to die!" Nebilim chuckled slowly, rising to his feet in a very evil and dramatic fashion.

"Kratos, if you don't help me, we're both gonna die here, and no one will ever hear of us again! Think of the people who you influence every day!" Yuan tried to encourage Kratos.

"I _wanna_ die. I'm a failure," Kratos muttered. Yuan rolled his eyes, pulled a Twinkie from Kratos' pocket, and threw it at Nebilim, who promptly stepped on it, annoyed at the projectile.

"Kratos, he just stomped a Twinkie," Yuan pointed out. Kratos rose in a flash, sword drawn.

"It's go time," he growled. With a battle cry, the rusty-haired boy charged the freakishly red-haired Nebilim. Nebilim blocked the flurry of slashes with the broad edge of his axe and retaliated with a Rising Punishment. Kratos backstepped to avoid the vicious attack and sent a Demon Fang-Fierce Demon Fang-Super Lightning Blade combo back at Nebilim, who was momentarily stunned. The time it took for Nebilim to regain his balance was just enough for him to fail to dodge the Thunder Blade Yuan cast his way. _BOOM-BZZ-ZZ-ZZ!_ Nebilim staggered backwards, crackling with electricity. If his hair wasn't already defying each law of gravity, it would definitely have been at this point.

"You weaklings will _pay_ for that display!" Nebilim snarled. He rushed Kratos and switched to his Twin Blades, letting loose a three-slash into Raging Beast combo. Kratos barely blocked the combination and was thrown off guard (literally) when Nebilim switched his attack style to his Greaves and kicked Kratos square in the chest, sending the boy skidding backwards across the pavement.

"Eruption!" Yuan cried, grinning as Nebilim was engulfed in a violent spray of lava. The demented red-haired man sprinted out of the lava (much to Yuan's surprise) and raised his axe above his head.

"It's wood-chopping time!" Nebilim cackled. He tensed, about to swing the axe down, when Yuan held up a hand.

"Wait, wait: 'wood-chopping time'? Did you just say 'wood-chopping time'?" Yuan blinked.

"Well, I couldn't think of anything else to say. I mean, it's a gigantic _axe_," Nebilim lowered his weapon.

"Yeah, but come on: 'wood-chopping time'! That's not even menacing. It's just stupid!" Yuan shook his head.

"Okay, if you're so smart, here's the axe," Nebilim handed Yuan the massive weapon and lay out prone in front of the blue-haired boy. Yuan raised it above his head.

"You say something clever and evil!" Nebilim glowered. Yuan held the axe in that position for a few seconds.

"You're right. All I can think of is chopping wood," the blue-haired boy chuckled. He shook his head.

"Wow. That's weird," Yuan admitted. Then, his eyes widened.

"I've got it! 'Well, I guess two halves are better than one!' Hiyaa!" Yuan began to swing the axe.

"That's pretty lame," Kratos remarked, walking toward Yuan. Yuan rolled his eyes. Nebilim sighed.

"Look, it's really freakin' hard to think of something menacing and witty to say when you're holding a gigantic eighty-pound axe, Kratos," Yuan glared.

"Give me that," Kratos held his hands out. Yuan handed him the axe. Kratos raised the axe over Nebilim's supine form. He blinked.

"Huh. That's strange...for some reason, all I can think of is chopping wood," the rusty-haired boy tilted his head. Nebilim and Yuan nodded, rolling their eyes.

"No crap, Kratos," Yuan glared. Kratos pondered the axe for a second.

"How about this: _UNISON ATTACK!_" he roared, swinging the axe.

"'Unison attack'? What kind of corny-" Nebilim began. The axe connected with him, and suddenly he was standing between Kratos and Yuan.

"Super Lightning Blade!" Kratos cried, stabbing Nebilim.

"Thunder Blade!" Yuan yelled, casting the spell. The lightning bolt and the huge sword of electricity impacted at almost the same time.

"Let's go!" Yuan cried. "Super Thunder Blade!"

"That's not a compound Tech," Kratos glanced over at Yuan.

"I know. But it sounds like one, doesn't it?" Yuan shrugged. Kratos rolled his eyes and sighed. Nebilim staggered backwards from the sudden assault.

"That was a pretty clever line, Kratos. Just one question—how'd you build our Unison Bar so fast?" Yuan asked.

"I slashed at a tree while you and Nebilim were talking," Kratos replied.

"You may have won the battle, but the war is far from over!" Nebilim growled, leaping up. He ran off into the night.

"I think that was our most eccentric fight with him yet," Kratos noted. Yuan nodded.

"I'm gonna hurt tomorrow. But there's no way I'm getting to sleep after all this hubbub," Yuan sighed.

"...Did you just say 'hubbub'?" Kratos raised an eyebrow.

"Shut the hell up," Yuan shook his head and walked off.

ooo

Kratos walked down the empty street. For some reason, words came into his mind, but he couldn't figure out where he'd heard them. He started to sing them.

"I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known. Don't know where it goes, but it's home to me, and I walk alone," Kratos sang. Then he was struck by lightning.

"You're ruining the dimensional continuum between your world and ours," said the author.

"Hey, I didn't do anything to you!" a very crispy Kratos shot back.

"I'd tell you to go to hell, but that would end up sending you there," the author growled.

"What, do you think you're some sort of god?" Kratos challenged.

"Actually, yes. Watch this—Twinkie Monster!" the author yelled. Suddenly, a gigantic Twinkie with red eyes appeared, then just as quickly disappeared.

"That was amazing..." Kratos gaped.

"Yeah. So don't cross me," the author glared.

"Get back here right now and explain why you're ignoring me!" a voice called from somewhere behind the author who was currently peering through a giant hole in the sky.

"Uh...gotta go, Kratos, the girlfriend's calling," the author disappeared suddenly. Kratos sat down in the grass of someone's front yard, pondering what had just occurred. But suddenly, he just couldn't remember the exact details of the encounter—

"Are you kidding? Of course I can! Suddenly, this guy appears in the sky, and-" Kratos began.

_LIKE I SAID,_ Kratos couldn't remember the exact details of the encounter. As he tried to remember them, they slipped from his memory, like dreams in the morning.

"Well, the guy appeared when...when...wait, you're right, I can't remember a thing!" Kratos gasped.

See? Now get on with the story.

ooo

Yuan stumbled into his room, overcome with exhaustion. He collapsed into his bed, not even taking his clothes off before covering himself with the blankets. As he closed his eyes, it seemed like someone was watching him. But Yuan didn't care. He was really freakin' tired. Some strange music played as the scene dimmed, alerting Yuan that his HP and TP were fully restored.

ooo

Martel stared at the ceiling. For some reason, she couldn't sleep. Her thoughts kept returning to Yuan...he was such a silly boy! Always blushing suddenly, tripping over things when he was watching her instead of the ground...but she liked him for that. Martel sighed and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She walked over to the window of her room and looked out to the street. Someone was walking down the street...but he seemed to be slightly charred. However, the ridiculously spiky hair could only belong to...

"Kratos...?" she murmured. Martel pulled a nightdress over herself and walked down the stairs and out the door to the front lawn.

"Kratos, what are you doing out here at this time of night?" Martel called to the charred boy. Kratos turned to face her.

"Martel, you should be asleep," he replied, gazing at her from the side of his eye.

"I could say the same to you. Now, what are you doing here?" she said evenly.

"Tricky. I was just wandering around. I don't need a lot of sleep," Kratos shrugged.

"Must be from all the sugar you eat. Hey, have you seen Yuan? I mean, I know it's late, but...since you two are close friends, I thought..." the blond girl scuffed her feet.

"We had a short fight with Nebilim. It wasn't that bad," Kratos shrugged, unwrapping a Twinkie. Martel rolled her eyes at the snack.

"He's a really irritating person. I wish he'd stop fighting us. Maybe we can talk it out..." she sighed.

"Oh, and I'm sure he'd just sit down civilly and speak with us. Working out a truce with Nebilim is like my recipes involving tomatoes—no one's gonna end up happy, and somebody's gonna get hurt," Kratos mused through a mouthful of Twinkie. "Although, that would make Nebilim happy...the people getting hurt part. Unless it's him. then he wouldn't be very happy. Well, unless-"

"I understand," Martel cut off Kratos's rant.

"Interruption is impolite," the rusty-haired boy glared, squaring his shoulders.

"Relax, Kratos," Martel said soothingly. He grunted and unwrapped another Twinkie.

"I guess we should get to bed. It's late," Martel suggested. Kratos shrugged.

"...Indeed," he remarked, walking off. The blond girl shook her head and headed back inside.

"Sweet dreams, Mithos," she said as she passed Mithos's room. The boy turned over in his sleep.

ooo

"Should I directly attack Twinkie Kid and that blue-haired bitch?"

Nebilim shook his Mana 8-Exsphere and looked into the small window on the bottom.

"'Ask Again Later'? What shit is this?" the red-haired boy roared. He asked the question again and shook the exsphere.

"'Ask Again Later'? This is rigged!" Nebilim snarled. He pulled out a grindstone and set his axe down to the spinning stone.

"Death is inevitable..." he hissed.


End file.
